I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Can I color on your dick again?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
