His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
