I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I can't trust your balls anymore.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
