I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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