Having a random hookup so left but love u
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
