Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
