he was CRYING into my vagina
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
