i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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