A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
that may or may not have been my penis.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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