to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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