If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
