When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
