so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
