Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
