Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
