Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Drunk is not a location!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize