Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
