Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
even my farts smell like vagina
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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