Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
