Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize