So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
BRING THE BAGELS
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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