I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize