you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
