he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
