I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
