Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
