Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
