where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize