i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
