I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It's never too late to be topless.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
