I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
