I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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