Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
