this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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