The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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