Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we're making bets on your personal life
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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