I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
His nipple licking is glorious
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