I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I'm really busy with my period
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