hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I don't think brook has ever known best
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
