I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize