D3 body, D1 cock
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
