u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
