We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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