R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
