I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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