next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
