Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
