We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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