I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize