im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize