she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
