Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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