Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The power of my boobs compel you
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
