nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
