When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
