Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
