You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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