He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize