It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
