just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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