Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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