Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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