So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
