PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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