people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize