He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
