nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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