i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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