batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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