i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
