I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Oh god it's open bar.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
