Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
