please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
