Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
