Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
