I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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