More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
