im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize