oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
All the doctor said was why
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
