also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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