I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
A bitchslap is in order.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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